Yup, it's official.

I hate my new assignment. Imagine if you will being taken from a cubicle and being put into an area that's approximately the size of 4 regular cubes big.
Now stick desks in there, one right next to another.
Each "desk" space is large enough to hold a computer, a monitor, a keyboard & mouse, and maybe, if you're lucky, a pad of paper.

Populate this area with 11 people. You're #12.
Every single thing you do is noticed, and likely commented on. Go to the restroom? Someone comments on it. Need a drink? Someone notices. Go to lunch? Hey, wait up and we'll ALL go. Check your email? Gee, that's a really pretty background you have set for your Gmail. Itchy nose? Someone asks you if you're going to sneeze, for crying out loud.

I don't like people that much. I especially don't like them enough to be surrounded by chattering, noticing people for 8-10 hours every single flipping day.

God, I swear, whatever You want from me that will GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE, I will do. If your grand plan is entitled "Kim's Having a Nervous Breakdown", then I'm right on track for it, but if it's that SOMETHING BETTER THAN I EVER IMAGINED that I keep getting told about, then you better hurry up and make that SOMETHING BETTER happen before something BAD happens.

I'm pretty sure that it's really bad when I start fantasizing about getting a serious case of H1N1 because "well, at least THEN I wouldn't have to go into That Place for a while." Please God...it's not that I'm ungrateful to have a job...it's just that I don't know how much more of this one I can take anymore. And "God's got a plan, just you wait" is starting to sound a lot more like random noise than anything meaningful to me.

God, I don't want to be a bad witness to people. I want to show Your love, and how great it is that we have Hope because of Your Son. But God...I keep getting more and more miserable, and I'm having a harder and harder time finding Hope. Please God...at least give me that. Hope and Peace in You.

And Satan, if you're the one behind all this, I say this with all sincerity:
SCREW YOU. GO BACK TO HELL. STAY THERE. YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE OF THE FIRST WATER, AND YOU CAN JUST GO BACK TO YOUR HELLHOLE AND STAY THERE FOREVER. I AM NOT ABANDONING MY FAITH BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPID MACHINATIONS, SO JUST PISS OFF.