Relationship Bank

I was just reminded of this, and since it was so helpful I thought I'd post it so I didn't lose track of it again.

Kev once told me about a concept he'd run across called the "Relationship Bank" (or Emotions Bank, whatever). The counselor likened interpersonal relationships to banks:
Every positive interaction / emotion with someone meant they made a "deposit" of Good Feelings in their "Relationship Account" with you.
Every negative interaction / emotion with someone meant they made a "withdrawal" from their "Relationship Account".
Obviously, we need to keep our accounts in the POSITIVE with other people we want to get along with.

Granted, it's rather a simplistic -- and slightly mercenary way -- to look at relationships on the surface, but I think it's actually a solid and valid way to evaluate your relationships with people.
Have I been "depositing" or "withdrawing" lately from my friends? If I'm "withdrawing", have I "deposited" enough prior to this that I have a healthy balance to draw on? If not, maybe we're not as close as I thought, and I should be more careful about my "withdrawals" from them.
And that other person over there, who's doing nothing but "withdrawals" from me - do I know them well enough to allow this? Do they have enough "on balance" to do that, or are they taking advantage of my good nature? (Okay, stop laughing now, it's a hypothetical question, not one I'm asking myself. I said STOP LAUGHING.)

It's interesting how many "friends" really turn out to be nothing of the sort when evaluated this way - especially those made over the Internet. How much do you know about these people, anyway - these faceless, pseudonymous people who type at the world in general on their computer?

Getting Attention

I seem to be garnering more and more attention with my cool rad new legwarmer. My boss saw it on Thursday of last week and asked what it was. When I explained about the metal plate in my leg getting really cold in this weather, and that a friend from church made it for me when she found out, my boss said, "wow, what a great friend! And what a COOL legwarmer!"

There ya go, Cynthia - my boss thinks you're cool, and that the legwarmer is totally rad. So to speak.

Monday Morning Musings

Okay, it's COLD outside. Not normal cold. Not something you can sing about. It's REALLY REALLY COLD. Nose-hair-freezing cold. Don't-go-outside-you-moron cold. So, of course, I went outside in it.
BUT, I have two - count 'em, TWO - lovely warm wool legwarmers that designatedknitter gave to me for my Robo-Leg so that my Metal Inserts don't get cold. And I gotta tell ya, after that looooong walk across the parking lots (about 1/3 mile or so) the ONLY thing that was warm was my right leg, between my knee and ankle. Coincidentally, that's the part that was covered by my two - count 'em, TWO - lovely wool legwarmers.

I also forgot my cane at home...so I'm having to be QUITE a bit more careful walking than I have had to be. Oh well, I'm sure it'll be good for me. Or something. Without the cane I do tend to "roll" from side to side, though, and i don't like doing that, so I'm working at not-rolling while walking. Which of course means I take a bit longer to walk anyway, so I'm out in the cold a bit longer. But at least RoboLeg isn't getting cold, because i have two - count 'em, TWO - lovely wool legwarmers.

Heard something incredibly stupid today on the radio. "Doctor Joel Wallick" was advertising for his new "energy pack". He's all about Colloidal Minerals and anti-doctor. Incidentally, the guy is a Veterinarian, not a people-doctor. And he's one I certainly wouldn't take my pets to see, I'll tell you what. This guy's new ad touts his energy pack that's made from "flower pollen." He even emphasizes that it's not made from BEE pollen - this is pollen that's taken right off the flowers! (Seriously, that's exactly what he says in the commercial. Just like that, too.)
Not bee pollen, flower pollen. News flash to the stupidpeople of the world: THIS GUY IS SNOWING YOU. Seriously. BEES DON'T MAKE pollen! They collect it from flowers. Right, just like "Doctor" Wallick. Only they're smaller. And probably smarter.

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to Strawberry! Hope you have nothing to whine about today. ;)

Meaning in Life

Strawberry's latest post asks how to "find the meaningful" in life. It's a good question, really. How do you find things that are meaningful, and how do you get motivated to DO them?

Sometimes "The Meaningful" just whacks you between the eyes. Sometimes it's incredibly obvious, and you can't help but do whatever it may be, because you're almost compelled to do so. For me, that's things like playing the organ for church. I have to play - at least on occasion. Heck, just going to service on Sundays is The Meaningful. And I do really miss it if I don't go in a particular week. And I'm sure that, if you asked her, Strawberry would tell you that teaching Sunday School is part of The Obvious Meaningful to her.

But sometimes The Meaningful doesn't present itself with a 2x4. Sometimes, making yourself go out and doing something becomes meaningful in retrospect. I don't mean just things that are "hafta do" things, like laundry and cleaning - I mean things like "go for a walk in the park" or "sit outside with a coffee (or tea) and just listen to the birds" becomes meaningful. Those are ways that Captain Spaulding and I use to "center" ourselves, and take a couple minutes out to remind ourselves that life isn't just about doing the things we MUST do every day. Life isn't just sleep-eat-work-sleep; it's the little stuff.

Likewise, Meaningful isn't always the Big Important Feelings and motivations. Many times I've had to force myself out of my chair, out of the house, to go do something that I really don't feel like doing. I don't feel motivated, I don't feel ambitious, and I sure as heck don't want to do anything except go back to bed. But I get up and do it, because either I've promised someone else I'll be there, or go do "it" (whatever it is), or because I'm just tired of being in my rut of sleep-eat-work-sleep. I certainly don't feel like whatever I'm going to do is meaningful. But later on, maybe while I'm doing whatever it is, or afterward, I look and see that yes, it was meaningful, and I feel better about myself for having done it. Even if it's just walking the dog around the block, or hiking in the woods, or...hey, even hanging laundry to dry.

The Meaningful is all around us. Sometimes it's obvious. Sometimes it's very, very hard to see. When it becomes nigh unto impossible to find, it's up to each of us to MAKE The Meaningful happen, rather than wait for it to find us. And, like many other things, the more Meaningful we "do", the easier it is to find it next time.

Congratulations, Kim and Mike!

Finally! We wish you many, MANY years of happiness together.

TRUE Friendship

Just got this in my email and thought it was too good and therefore I must post it.

Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card- Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. This is my oath .... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask; 'because you are my friend'.

Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel its true warmth.

Remember: A friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel.

Send this to 10 of your closest friends, then get depressed because you can only think of 4.

My Laptop Works better!

Yesterday, a very kind friend came over and completely redid my laptop. Wiped the hard drive, reinstalled Windows, redid all the drivers and stuff I'd need - everything.

WOW.
My laptop screams now. He said 'twas nothing, but honestly, he was here for five hours making everything work the way it should, and making sure it all worked right before he left.

Thanks, James and Katie. Thanks for coming over, fixing my computer, socializing with us and generally being really good friends. You guys rock. And I'm glad you liked the venison.

Shiny!

Some very kind friends have decided to help cheer up Kev and me. They sent us SHINY THINGS!
Saturday's mail revealed that a very kind soul sent us a 2008 Groundspeak Volunteer coin (I expect Kev will scan it and so on soon, but right now I don't have a pic).

Today's mail brought another gift from another kind soul! An envelope containing the Allegany GeoBash Coin with the most adorable little owl on it:





AND a hilarious pin:

Awww, I still loves you!

In reply to Strawberry's latest post...

I Still loveses you. And your wedding will be lovely. It has to be; you're in it.

More Stick Pix

Lilies

Pawprints

Strap & Charm

Name

Stick of the Baskervilles

..."Mr. Holmes, they were the prints of a giant hound!"
That phrase ends one chapter of the enduring story of The Hound of the Baskervilles, by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. So, of course, I immediately thought of it when I saw glowing paw prints in the mail.

A dear friend did me an incredible honor: she hand-carved a hiking stick for me. She carved a dog's head on the top of it, carved and painted paw prints down the side (in glow-in-the-dark paint, of course :D) and carved and painted my geocaching handle down the stick.
Lilies of the valley adorn the stick, as does her avatar, a cute little mouse.

It is an incredibly gorgeous stick, and I just can't say enough nice things about it. I can't thank her enough for going to all this work, and for shipping it out to me.
Here are pictures of the stick.



Stick in a box!



Opening the box...





Outside with the Stick of the Baskervilles

Stuff I learned at the GeoBash

Kev sounds tall. *snert*

I need new boots that don't give me blisters if I wear them longer than an hour at a time.

Cheese curds squeak when you eat them. And oh, my, goodness are they GOOD. I need to be saved from these things. They're wonderful.

Homemade beer is even better. Especially the Wheat. And that Scottish Ale wasn't anything to sneeze at, either.

There's always room for more people around a campfire, and at the 'Bash.
Followup: Drunken Tent Raising may be amusing, but it also requires approximately 2 dozen people.

Kai doesn't like applesauce, especially if it's had Red Jell-O mixed in.

Neither do I.

Flamingos are really cool, and in high demand.

Sleep may be overrated, but you'll still pay later on.

It's a llama thing. You wouldn't understand.
















Torry does a pretty good, albeit scary, Mary Tyler Moore.