Monday Morning Musings

Okay, it's COLD outside. Not normal cold. Not something you can sing about. It's REALLY REALLY COLD. Nose-hair-freezing cold. Don't-go-outside-you-moron cold. So, of course, I went outside in it.
BUT, I have two - count 'em, TWO - lovely warm wool legwarmers that designatedknitter gave to me for my Robo-Leg so that my Metal Inserts don't get cold. And I gotta tell ya, after that looooong walk across the parking lots (about 1/3 mile or so) the ONLY thing that was warm was my right leg, between my knee and ankle. Coincidentally, that's the part that was covered by my two - count 'em, TWO - lovely wool legwarmers.

I also forgot my cane at home...so I'm having to be QUITE a bit more careful walking than I have had to be. Oh well, I'm sure it'll be good for me. Or something. Without the cane I do tend to "roll" from side to side, though, and i don't like doing that, so I'm working at not-rolling while walking. Which of course means I take a bit longer to walk anyway, so I'm out in the cold a bit longer. But at least RoboLeg isn't getting cold, because i have two - count 'em, TWO - lovely wool legwarmers.

Heard something incredibly stupid today on the radio. "Doctor Joel Wallick" was advertising for his new "energy pack". He's all about Colloidal Minerals and anti-doctor. Incidentally, the guy is a Veterinarian, not a people-doctor. And he's one I certainly wouldn't take my pets to see, I'll tell you what. This guy's new ad touts his energy pack that's made from "flower pollen." He even emphasizes that it's not made from BEE pollen - this is pollen that's taken right off the flowers! (Seriously, that's exactly what he says in the commercial. Just like that, too.)
Not bee pollen, flower pollen. News flash to the stupidpeople of the world: THIS GUY IS SNOWING YOU. Seriously. BEES DON'T MAKE pollen! They collect it from flowers. Right, just like "Doctor" Wallick. Only they're smaller. And probably smarter.

Fashion is Stupid

I went looking for a pair of flannel pajamas over the weekend. First I checked with my favorite store - the Internet. Hrm....flannel bottoms, but no tops. O....kay.....
Let's try the store.
Walmart: flannel pajama pants.
Target: flannel pajama pants. Oh, and these "charming" little useless bits of cloth with spaghetti straps that were supposed to be paired with the flannel bottoms. Excuse me? If I'm buying flannel pajamas, I'm not making a freaking fashion statement, I'm trying to keep warm. How is that stupid little bit of nothing supposed to help keep me warm????

Oh, and my personal favorite: "thermal pajamas". Longjohns. They were longjohns in happy colors with little flowers and bunnies on them. Which did, in fact, come with thermal tops as well, so I was all prepared to buy them, not caring much what they looked like, as long as they keep me warm, but apparently fat people don't get cold enough to warrant warm bottoms and tops, since the largest size they had for these thermal jammies were a size medium. Fabulous.

I finally found something that might actually work, and it was on sale, so at least there's that. But come ON. Flannel bottoms with what looks like an attempt at a "sexxxaaaayyyyy" top? Please. I want warm, people, not "sexxxxaaayyy". Market your stupid sexxxay stuff all you want, but give us some warm stuff for on top to go with the warm stuff on bottom, hey? Sell 'em as Separates - that way you can still market your stupid "flannel bottoms and useless tops" to people who want that sort of thing, and the rest of us can have our flannel bottoms AND flannel tops.

Security by Wishful Thinking

There's a show on Tuesday evening called "It Takes A Thief", in which a couple of reformed thieves actually check out someone's house for security risks, then burgle the house with the owner's permission. (All on-camera, of course, since it's for TV.) Afterward, they show the burglary to the owners, tell them what went wrong and how things can be improved, then set up the owner with some free-to-the-owner basic security features, like better locks, new windows, whatever. It's rather an interesting look at how safe one's house really isn't.

This weeks' family was a 3-generation home. Grandma and Grampa, mom, and 2 kids - a teenager and a (I think) 10-year-old girl. First off, we find out that their house has been broken into, burglarized, and vandalized in the past, at least once (and possibly at least twice; I wasn't sure on that.) AND, apparently they don't live in the greatest area of town, contributing to the breakins and vandalism problems. So, you'd figure they'd be at least minimally security-conscious, wouldn't you?

You'd be wrong. They constantly left the front door unlocked "because Brittany (the teenager) kept losing her key." The window in the back of the house was unlocked because the lock was mis-adjusted. Mom kept hundreds of dollars of necessary money - Child-support money from her ex - loose in a bowl in the kitchen, where it was easily findable. Mom, Gramma and both daughters kept hundreds of dollars worth of costume jewelry, expensive shoes and designer purses, and clothing absolutely everywhere - jewelry all over the desks, dressers, bedroom furniture.

So, the breakin occurred. They actually let the family watch as they did a B&E on their house. The teenage daughter was appalled at the amount of mess that was created. (I still can't quite figure out what she thought they were going to do. They did tell the family "we're going to burgle your house, exactly the way someone breaking the law would do." Someone who's tossing your house to find easily-stolen, easily-sold items isn't going to be concerned with keeping the place looking neat, for heavens' sake.) The "B&E guy" broke in, collected all the jewelry, purses, clothes, shoes, and money, loaded it into his van and drove off in about 10 minutes.

The other consultant told the family exactly what was going on, and then the B&E guy brought the stuff back. The next day, they showed up at the house again to clean up the mess and install new security features, as well as fix the old ones.
All new deadbolts and door handles, they fixed the kitchen window, installed a dozen new windows, gave Mom a "security camera" (basically a webcam-style dealie that could hook up right to a computer or a VCR so she could tape the place), and a bolted-down small safe. They told Mom how to work everything, all the changed they'd done, and what NOT to do in the future - as well as how to be more secure. Then they left, with the agreement that they'd be back sometime in the next month to see if the family was doing any better, security-wise.

On their return visit, they discovered that the door was finally locked, but the teenage daughter left her window unlocked. Easy entry. Mom's essential Child-Support money was still in the bowl in the kitchen. All the jewelry? Still strewn all over the place. The safe not only hadn't ever been used, the packing material was still in it. The Security Webcam? Still in a bundle of wires on top of the TV - right where the Security guy had left it, three weeks earlier.
Mom made all kinds of excuses: "I forgot the money was there." "I've been busy." "I didn't have time to learn the software for the camera." They informed her that there WAS no "software to learn"; it was a plug-and-play camera, and 'busy' doesn't explain the wide-open window.

I was flabbergasted. A family that's been repeatedly burgled - and NOT by people that gave their stuff back, either - just couldn't be bothered to lock their doors, put their valuables away in a safe (provided TO THEM FOR FREE), or even keep their windows locked when they weren't home. It was as though they just kept thinking "if I pretend it didn't happen, it won't happen again!" I felt really sorry for the hosts of the show - they seem like they really want to help people. But the family they featured this week just didn't want to be helped, it seems.

Nothing you can do to help people that just aren't interested in help. Or, rather, that want you to wave a Magic Fairy Wand and Make All The Bad People Go Away. I think they didn't want help so much as they wanted things to be their way, without any effort on their part.

Thoughts from the Radio

Random bits of Radio-burping...with of course my commentary because I am completely incapable of just reporting without putting my comments in.

An Anderson police officer was relieved of duty when the contents of his MySpace account were forwarded to the police chief. Apparently they contained racist, sexist, and generally offensive commentary. He said he doesn't even like that kind of humor and it was supposed to be a place for his friends to joke around.

You know, I'd like to think they canned him for being stupid, and not necessarily for the actual comments on his MySpace page. I mean, really, does anyone that has an IQ greater than room temperature think that the stuff you post on the 'net - especially stuff on a site that is advertised as a "social networking site" - is going to stay private? Hello, stupid, don't post anything you wouldn't put up on the bulletin board at work!

In a similar vein, a mayor was removed from office when the city she serves discovered "titillating photos" (evidently shots of her in her underwear) on the 'net. She'd had them done a few years before she even ran for mayor for some publicity stunt, or a fundraiser calendar, or an awareness event...something. It doesn't matter - anyway, apparently a relative put the photos on HER MySpace account to "improve {the mayor's} social life."

Okay, there aren't enough DUH in the world for this one. And a heapin' helpin' of "MYOB", too. For crying out loud, people! Mind Your Own Bidness - if she wanted to "improve her social life", I'm pretty sure she's over 18 and can therefore figure out how to do it herself! Betcha that relative is feeling pretty stupid right about now. Again - if you wouldn't say it in person, and you wouldn't want it attributed to you by the people you know and work with, don't put it on the 'net. You lose all control over the contents of your 'net-postings as soon as you hit "submit". I have no idea who's reading this at any given time, given that the accessibility of it is set to "public", and even if it was set "private" there'd be nothing preventing any of my friends-with-access from copying something I wrote, pasting it into an email and sending it off to the world.

If you don't want everyone in the world to know what you said...don't say it at all. The 'net is a public place, regardless of the fact that it's accessible from your bedroom. Treat it like you would any other public place. Don't assume that nobody's going to see your posts except you "and your friends", don't assume that your posts, your pictures, your pages are ONLY going to be seen by the people YOU want to see them. Assume that they'll be seen by every single person in the world, and then decide if you want to actually reveal that part of yourself.

Think before posting before thinking.

New Pants

What the heck is up with the sizing of clothing lately? I've noticed this before, and it still makes no sense. I just got 2 new pairs of pants and they both are labeled "24W - Petite" (the "Petite" being the height). I'm 5'7" in just feet - no shoes on.
These "petite" pants are almost too long for me! These are the shortest ones they make in "full length" size, and they're almost too long! Were I even an inch shorter, these things would need alterations - or I'd be walking on them. This is crazy. These could probably be comfortably worn by someone at least 2 to 3 inches taller than I without looking like floods. Let's say 2 inches. So if the "Petite" pants are to be worn by people 5' 7" - 5' 9", then...the "Normal" ones are for 5' 9" to 5' 11"? And the "tall" pants are for who, the WNBA candidates?

Come on, clothiers! This is nuts! What are the "average" people supposed to wear - shorts? Capris? Oh wait, that was last years' styles. God forbid they need clothes this year. Make your pants to fit your customers! I can't believe that there are really a large number of WNBA candidates shopping at WalMart, and that nobody shorter than I am is needing pants. Stupid.

I'd also like to know why, if I buy the same design and cut in two different colors, one fits and one doesn't. Or worse yet, one is almost too big and the other one feels like I bought something two sizes too small. I know, I know, it's my fault for buying cheapo clothes, but in my experience, no matter how much I pay for a pair of pants or a skirt, it's going to last me about a year. I'm not paying $100 per skirt to have to replace them all next year, when I can get the same longetivity from a $10 skirt or pair of pants.

"Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain"

-Friedrich von Schiller

And boy, was HE ever right. Our phone went out this past weekend. Normally no big deal, but we had kinda hoped to do some online stuff, and if the phone's out, the DSL is out, so I called Verizon's 24-hour line.
It's now an automated line, which quite frankly I like infinitely better than the human-staffed line. For one thing, I don't have to wait on the phone for an hour for a live person to answer, just to get the same questions the automated line asked me. For another, the automated line doesn't get snotty with me and ask me stupid things like "if your phone is out, then how are you calling us to report a problem?"
The fact that it's an automated line is very important. Remember that fact.

It asked the usual things, phone number (with area code), what kind of problem am I reporting, etc. Then I got the following two questions:
"Does the phone have a dial tone at all?" No.
"I know this is highly unlikely, but are you placing this call from that phone?" Um. What?

Really, it did say "I know this is highly unlikely".
I think my brain just melted.
I mean, really, think about that.

They know that you're not gonna be able to call the phone company if your phone doesn't work at all, especially to the extent of "no dial tone". And yet...apparently there are enough incredibly stupid people that will place calls to the phone company, reporting no service on their phone, and no DIAL TONE on their phone, and will do so using the phone that is supposedly out of service, that the phone company needs to program that question into their automated helpline.

I weep for humanity.

More Random Stupid Food Items

The Indiana State Fair has prohibited Trans Fats at the fair this year. It's being promoted as a big deal and a "great move" because it's so much more healthy to have no trans fats in your food.

How on earth do people make decisions like these? I'm convinced this is not so much "let's make decisions toward healthier food" so much as it is "let's jump on the latest bandwagon." That's the only explanation I can think of that allows the Fair organizers to think that items such as DEEP FRIED TWINKIES, DEEP FRIED MARS BARS, DEEP FRIED REESES' CUPS, and fried Pepsi, for crying out loud, is even remotely "healthier".

Y'know, I don't think the myocardial infarction is being held off much by the lack of trans fats in THAT little combo. I really don't. And the stupid thing is, people are just gullible enough (on the whole) to think that this stuff truly is somehow "better" for them - so they'll go back for seconds and thirds.

Gimme a break. If your entire meal consists of Deep-Fried Breaded Stuff That Was Generally Junk Food To Begin With, taking out the trans fats ain't gonna make it healthy.

PLEASE, stop trying to jump on bandwagons, and make decisions that are truly better for you. Be informed! LEARN about your surroundings and the things that affect you! Then make your decisions based on INFORMATION, rather than bandwagons and sound bites.

Now that is truly good for you.