Tuesday, February 16, 2010

What I Want To Be When I Grow Up

This is always the question adults ask kids. "What do you want to be when you grow up?" When I was a kid, I had no fricking clue what I wanted to be, but I thought I should go into teaching for some odd reason or another. When I got to college, I discovered that I don't really like people en masse all that much, I really don't much care for people under the age of about 25, although exceptions can be made for certain ones, and therefore actually going into TEACHING is probably a Very Bad Idea.

So, I farted around for a while trying this or that. Accounting? Okay, yeah, don't ask them why we log the same transaction in a billionty different places. Makes 'em cranky. Hey, my dad said, why don't you do what I do? Hm, that sounds like a good idea. So for a while I worked on auto design. Yeah...I designed and packaged car parts. Hey, it's a living, I worked on computers, it was interesting, but ... meh, not really what I envisioned doing, ya know? It was a job.

Sort of wound up doing some Computer System Admin stuff by accident, and Data Management, and some Technical Writing, which eventually got me a job that was TEH SUCK, but it paid the bills. I went from that one to the one I have now.

So now I have this job, instead. If you'd asked me 15 years ago if I'd ever have a job like this, I'd have laughed in your face.

A job that's completely Salaried? You must be out of your mind. They can work you as much as they want and you never get paid extra for it. Nope, you want me to work more than 40 hours a week, you better-by-golly be PAYING me for it.
Yeah, I work as many as they need, and this is the first job I've ever had that I've been WILLING to work "as many as they need" - including overnight (I've come in at 9am one day and not finished up until 6pm the next night), through the entire weekend (that was a VERY long week...I think it was 10 days or so long), stayed until 2am 3 days straight...and none of it is paid overtime. I'm Salaried, and I work as much as I need to in order to get the job done.

Work for a Startup? Not on your life. I know there's no such thing as "job security" but damn if that's not ASKING for trouble.
Yeah, I was Employee # 15 when they hired me. We've got 21 now, and #22 is coming next week.

Take a paycut to work somewhere else? Hah, right.
Best move i ever made.

My job description isn't so much a description as it is a suggestion? NO, I like clear direction, thank you.
Yeah, see, I'm the ONLY person here who has this job, and they kind of created it at the same time they hired me. So my manager and I have been kind of making it up as we go along, and as more things come down the pike ("Hey...here's something we didn't think of...that sorta sounds like something she's doing...give it to her..."), regardless of whether or not they ARE "supposed to be" my responsibility, if they sound like something I might be working on or need to do anyway (or if there's nobody else even CLOSE to doing anything like it) then it's my job. Morphing Job R Me.


Wait, you're telling me you'd want me to be ENTIRELY responsible for an ENTIRE PRODUCT LINE working? No way, that's FAR too much responsibility. AND everyone's going to hate me for it? Uh-huh, I'll be out in the car, waiting for you to come up with something I might ACTUALLY want to do.
I am THE Quality department for our entire line of software. My responsibility is to break it, break it good, find out HOW I broke it, break it some more, document the crap out of all the carnage, and then toss it back toward our developers, who will pick up the pieces and make it work - at which time I break it again. It's my job to figure out exactly HOW to break it, exactly how our CUSTOMERS could break it, and then ensure that won't ever happen, as much as I can.

The hours are long, the pay is...less than I was making in my previous position, I'm fairly certain that everyone's going to hate me before I leave each day, and I'm loving the hell out of it.
Sure, it's busy, but...it's fun. I feel useful, I have a lot of fun "deconstructing" the programs and applications, and I FINALLY understand why someone would actually VOLUNTARILY take a job where they stayed late, did a lot of extra work, and even take some home with them - without extra pay - just to make sure "the customer is happy".

I really dig my supercool new job. Almost 6 months here and the shiny still hasn't worn off.
But I refuse to grow up. OUT, maybe, but not UP.

Grief

Grief is a silent, indisious destroyer. Grief is a noisy explosion. Grief is a dark, dank pit with no way out. Grief is huge and overwhel...