Going Home

Y'know, it's tough to realize how much of a luxury "going home" is until you can't do it. I have Stuff To Do at home - and I can't do it till Thursday, at the earliest. That's frustrating, and annoying.

Kev's fighting with a new program I put on the computer, that he doesn't understand (because he's never seen it before) that I should be dealing with, not him - but he's the one stuck with it. He's frustrated because it's just One More Thing To Do That He Shouldn't Have To Deal With (and that isn't self-explanatory, isn't intuitive, and isn't fast. And that he really doesn't have the time or the inclination to deal with.) I'm frustrated because I forgot to deal with it over the weekend, and I can't just say "eh, well, don't worry about it, I'll do it tonight".
I also can't say "I'll do it Thursday", because it's something Kev needs to be able to get ready for a gaming session on Friday.

I just want to be able to say "don't worry about it; I'll do it when I get home tonight", any night of the week. Is that too much to ask?

I want to swear. A lot. Loudly, extensively, and with great fervor.

I suppose I should post something

Whatever. It's been 5 days since I posted something, so I suppose I should post. But I don't think it's a good idea to say much today, because I'm incredibly depressed and grumpy today. All I'd do is post a bunch of whiney things about how stuff isn't working the way I want it to today.

So...yeah, whine whine whine whine.
And no I don't want any cheese to go with it, because I've already eaten my points-limit on cheese today and I have to save points for dinner.

Whine.

I'm TIRED.

Nothing profound today. No philosophy, no insight, no...well, nothing but whining. Really, you'd be better off skipping this and going about your day. Seriously.

Still here? Honestly, just skip it. Mark it as read and just go do something productive.

Fine, if you're still here, it's not my fault. Don't tell me about the ten minutes of your life you want back later. I tried to warn you.

I'm tired. I'm tired of having to plan and pack for an entire week at a time. I'm tired of having to pack lunches and dinners for Monday through Thursday. I'm tired of having to remember to pack my clothes for 4 days every week. I'm tired of not being able to just come home for dinner every night.
I'm tired of having no idea what to say when people ask me "how's work going?" I don't know. It's OK, I guess - tedious, but OK - but I'm tired of being away from home to do it. I'm tired of having no idea What I Want To Be When I Grow Up.
I'm tired of being depressed. I'm tired of being fat. I'm tired of feeling like this, because some days it's like I'm in a mental fog. Nothing's interesting, nothing's funny, it's just kinda...there. And quite frankly, I'm tired of having to think about stuff like "should I eat that" or "we shouldn't go out to eat" all. The. Time.

I know it'll go away. I know I'll feel better in a few days - maybe just after a good nights' sleep, maybe it'll take a few days, whatever. But right here, right now...I'm tired.

*sigh*

And now I have to go pack so I can leave my family behind for another week.
I am so...flipping...tired...of having to do that.

See? It's nothing but a Pity Party that I threw for myself. Toljaso.