Grief

Grief is a silent, indisious destroyer.
Grief is a noisy explosion.
Grief is a dark, dank pit with no way out.
Grief is huge and overwhelming and inescapable.
Grief is love with nowhere to go.
Grief...is. It just is.
It's an explosion inside my brain that shreds everything in its path - not just thoughts but the concept of thought. Some days I don't know that there is a thing called "thinking", let alone how to think. But i have to. Every day. So, I go along and pick up the shrapnel of myself. Tiny piece by tiny piece. Sticking them back together into a semblance of substance. Sometimes I drop some. Some days, the glue doesn't hold and everything falls to pieces. And when everything falls to pieces, so do I, because I am the pieces.
Some days, I feel together.
Other days, there's nothing available to be together with.
That is grief. It's destroyed what I was and now I'm someone and something else. I don't know who this person is. But I guess I have to learn, because I'm kinda stuck with her.