AN OPEN LETTER TO PEOPLE WHO WEAR PERSONAL SCENTS:
To all of you who wear cologne, After-shave, perfume, eau de Toilette, Essential Oils, and other forms of stink-pretty,
PLEASE. I am begging you.
If you are wearing enough so that you leave a visible cloud of stinkpretty fumes behind you
If you are smellable from over 100 feet away
If you leave flowers (and humans) keeling over in your wake
If you cause people's eyes to water just by your presence in the building
If the largest line-item in your monthly household budget is your personal brand of stink-pretty
Please, please, please - whatever heinous B.O. you are trying to cover with this stuff, please see a doctor about it. Don't try to cover it up with other scents. You're killing me. I can smell you from my cubicle across the room. I shudder to think what it must be like to sit right next to you. You don't need to shower with your Scented Stuff. Really. Nobody likes Brut that much. Trust me.
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