Here I stand. I can do no other.

(Thanks to Captain Spaulding for the idea).

Happy Reformation Day! On October 31, 1517, Martin Luther nailed a copy of his treatise on indulgences, later to become known as "the 95 Theses", to the door of the church at Wittenburg. And so began one of the largest movements of the Christian faith.
Martin Luther never set out to start his own denomination. He wanted to reform the Roman Catholic church, not leave it. But, once it became frighteningly obvious that the church as he knew it would not reform, he could not help but leave.
It's tempting, is it not, to go to church every week, and sit in the pew, and think about how nice it is that we certainly don't have to do that. Thanks, Luther, for doing all the hard work for us. Only that's not really true. There are still errors that crop up in peoples' beliefs. It is our duty and obligation to point out these errors and to help our fellow Christians (and non-Christians) to correct them. However, we should NEVER do this out of a sense of sanctimonious holier-than-thou superiority. It's not about "scoring one" on someone else, or making OURSELVES feel better because, hey, at least we're not like that guy.
No, it should always be in love that we do this. Because we CARE for someone and we are CONCERNED for them. This means, of course, that most of our "error correction", so to speak, will be a tadge closer to home than Luther's was. That doesn't mean it'll be any easier! Sometimes it feels far more difficult to try to point out the errors of a brother, a sister, a parent, a close friend than it would to try to...well...Reform The Church! And, while your relatives and friends probably won't try to cut off your head, they may very well cut off their relationship with you.
Wow, that hurts, doesn't it? Just makes you want to run right out there and start with the error correcting! Woohoo, let me at it - a chance to tick off my family, get them to never talk to me again, and have them think I'm a stuck-up, intolerant jerk because I am the one who said, "No, that's wrong, and I can't agree with that." It's very difficult to stand up - especially to family - and say, "I'm sorry, but I can't agree to that practice; it's wrong". It's even more difficult to follow that up with "if it continues, I'm sorry, but I cannot worship with you." But that's exactly what we are told to do in Matthew 18! If it's hurtful? Well, it's the pain that is supposed to help bring the erring person into line!
And what if it doesn't? We keep praying, we keep doing the right thing, and most of all, we keep loving them, and trying to help them. And, of course, we must be willing to accept error correction ourselves. None of us are perfect, and we will err too - so we must be willing to accept help in correcting our errors, as well.
It's also tempting to say, "Hey, that's between them and God, let THEM work it out." Unfortunately for us, God doesn't really give us that option. He told Ezekiel that if he appoints a watchman, and the watchman sees trouble and fails to warn the people, and they die, it's the WATCHMAN that's responsible. If the watchman does warn the people, and they ignore him, it's on their own heads. We are the watchmen. Each of us has been appointed by God to be a watchman for each other! God will hold US accountable for THEIR actions if we see them going astray and DO NOTHING. So if we see an error, it is our DUTY and OBLIGATION to point it out, and do everything we can to help that person correct it. And it is their duty to point out our errors, as well.
Even if it's family.
Even if it hurts.
Even if we don't like it.

Luther puts it best.
"Unless I am convinced by the testimony of the Holy Scriptures or by evident reason—for I can believe neither pope nor councils alone, as it is clear that they have erred repeatedly and contradicted themselves—I consider myself convicted by the testimony of Holy Scripture, which is my basis; my conscience is captive to the Word of God. Thus I cannot and will not recant, because acting against one's conscience is neither safe nor sound. God help me. Amen."

God help us all to do what is right. Amen.

Thanks.

You called as I was finishing that last blog post. The phone rang as I was hitting "publish", so I know you couldn't have read it yet. But somehow you knew I needed to get out of MY headspace and just talk to you. It was just about "nothing" - we talked about how we were doing, how he was, how you were, and a bunch of other things, and very much did NOT talk about how miserable I was.
That's exactly what I needed. Somehow, you knew. Somehow, you always know, even when I don't tell you.

That's why you're my best friend. I thank God every day for sending you into my life.
Thanks.

I'm TIRED.

Nothing profound today. No philosophy, no insight, no...well, nothing but whining. Really, you'd be better off skipping this and going about your day. Seriously.

Still here? Honestly, just skip it. Mark it as read and just go do something productive.

Fine, if you're still here, it's not my fault. Don't tell me about the ten minutes of your life you want back later. I tried to warn you.

I'm tired. I'm tired of having to plan and pack for an entire week at a time. I'm tired of having to pack lunches and dinners for Monday through Thursday. I'm tired of having to remember to pack my clothes for 4 days every week. I'm tired of not being able to just come home for dinner every night.
I'm tired of having no idea what to say when people ask me "how's work going?" I don't know. It's OK, I guess - tedious, but OK - but I'm tired of being away from home to do it. I'm tired of having no idea What I Want To Be When I Grow Up.
I'm tired of being depressed. I'm tired of being fat. I'm tired of feeling like this, because some days it's like I'm in a mental fog. Nothing's interesting, nothing's funny, it's just kinda...there. And quite frankly, I'm tired of having to think about stuff like "should I eat that" or "we shouldn't go out to eat" all. The. Time.

I know it'll go away. I know I'll feel better in a few days - maybe just after a good nights' sleep, maybe it'll take a few days, whatever. But right here, right now...I'm tired.

*sigh*

And now I have to go pack so I can leave my family behind for another week.
I am so...flipping...tired...of having to do that.

See? It's nothing but a Pity Party that I threw for myself. Toljaso.

"Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain"

-Friedrich von Schiller

And boy, was HE ever right. Our phone went out this past weekend. Normally no big deal, but we had kinda hoped to do some online stuff, and if the phone's out, the DSL is out, so I called Verizon's 24-hour line.
It's now an automated line, which quite frankly I like infinitely better than the human-staffed line. For one thing, I don't have to wait on the phone for an hour for a live person to answer, just to get the same questions the automated line asked me. For another, the automated line doesn't get snotty with me and ask me stupid things like "if your phone is out, then how are you calling us to report a problem?"
The fact that it's an automated line is very important. Remember that fact.

It asked the usual things, phone number (with area code), what kind of problem am I reporting, etc. Then I got the following two questions:
"Does the phone have a dial tone at all?" No.
"I know this is highly unlikely, but are you placing this call from that phone?" Um. What?

Really, it did say "I know this is highly unlikely".
I think my brain just melted.
I mean, really, think about that.

They know that you're not gonna be able to call the phone company if your phone doesn't work at all, especially to the extent of "no dial tone". And yet...apparently there are enough incredibly stupid people that will place calls to the phone company, reporting no service on their phone, and no DIAL TONE on their phone, and will do so using the phone that is supposedly out of service, that the phone company needs to program that question into their automated helpline.

I weep for humanity.

Customer Service?

I thought this would be obvious. I mean, y'know, you'd think it'd be obvious - giving good customer service results in more business. No, I don't mean "the customer is always right" kind of customer service - sometimes the customer is patently wrong, and needs to be told so. I mean good, intelligent, responsive customer service.
For example: calling your customers back when they're trying to patronize your business! We needed some home repair work done (replacing the fascia behind the rear gutter, and re-attaching the gutter. Oh yeah, and do it without ripping the phone wire out, which is right underneath the gutter. In fact, the gutter would currently be resting on the wire if we hadn't propped it up.) so we called the guy we've dealt with in the past for similar home repairs. He'd always done a good job, and the charges were reasonable, so we felt fairly confident in calling him.
Kev left a message on his machine (the usual practice) and we waited for a callback to make an appointment.
And waited.
And Kev called again.
And we waited.
We waited two weeks and didn't hear a thing. Finally, this past Saturday, I looked in the Yellow Pages, saw a listing for "General Contractor" in our town, and called them. Explained the gutter situation to the real live person (NOT an answering machine) on the other end of the line, who said she'd pass along the information and we could expect a call back to set up an appointment to check the situation out and get an estimate.
Less than one HOUR later, we got a call, he came out and checked out the gutter, gave us an estimate and said he'd be out either Tuesday or Wednesday, and he'd call the night before to let us know which it'd be.
Yeah, guess who we'll call next time we need home repairs done. And guess who just lost our business - forever.
Seriously, if you're not accepting new business right now, or you're on vacation, or just aren't going to return calls for a month, say so on your machine. If you're so overbooked you couldn't get to us till December, call us back to say so! Don't leave your potential customers hanging! I mean, really, if you can't be bothered to even call back to confirm an appointment, with someone who's seeking YOU out and wanting to give you money, I have to wonder how much you can be bothered to QC your work after it's been paid for. Nope, not going to call you anymore, dude. Bye, bye, former contractor guy.

Schott Construction, you have MY business for being professional, for being there, for promptly returning calls. Next time we need home repair / general contracting done, we're calling YOU GUYS the FIRST time, so we don't need to look for a "second time".

Note to self

When making instant oatmeal at work, make absolutely sure that there is enough hot water in the container to get all the oatmeal wet. Because dry instant oatmeal is even more disgusting than Alton Brown says it is. Bleagh. Now I want some of the leftover apple pie in the contractor's triangle just to take the memory of the taste & texture away. Yuck. Or even that scorched coffee I smell right now.

Blog Action Day?

Today is supposedly blog action day. The environment is a Big Issue; something that obviously affects us all - and vice versa. Want to learn how to reduce your impact? Leave No Trace will help you learn. Great organization; great classes. Check 'em out.

I hate this phrase.

The phrase "Don't sweat the small stuff. And it's ALL small stuff." Drives me nuts. I don't know why, exactly. So, hah, you get to read my Random Mental Mutterings while I try to figure it out. Lucky you. But at least you get to click away from the page. This kind of thing clutters up my brain all the time.

So anyway, I think at least part of it - the biggest part, really - is that yeah, it may all be "small stuff", but dangit, it's the small stuff that always drives me nuts. BIG STUFF I can (usually) deal with. I think because it's supposed to be irritating / annoying / depressing / generally icky-mood-inducing, so therefore it's not quite as much of a surprise when hey, now I'm irritated, annoyed, depressed and icky-moody. I know the cause, I know it's temporary, and I know it'll go away eventually. Problem solved, I can get on with my life now.

But the "small stuff" - that crap is always there, it always happens, and it's always trying its best to goop up my happy place. And it's never any ONE thing I can point to, and say, "well, sure I'm depressed, look at THAT Bad Thing." No, it's just little crap, gooping up the happy place. So even if I do try to point to something, it feels like "gee, THAT is what's getting me down? I must be pretty pathetic to let that get to me this bad..." Yeah, wow, that sure is helpful. Now I've got my Happy Place all goopy and I'm feeling pathetic and stupid for letting "small stuff" goop up my Happy Place!

I just need to remember: Dust is a very small thing. It's a vast collection of "small stuff" - but it can be a Big Problem in machinery. Dust - a Very Small Thing - can cause scratches and dings in die molds, necessitating expensive replacement, motors to quit working, and generally make life Very Unpleasant if it's not removed or otherwise allowed for. So, when life's Dust is gooping up my Happy Place, I'm not pathetic. I'm just in the middle of a Dust Storm right now. Come back later, maybe I'll be out of the Dust Storm, okay? If you really want to help, give me your hand and maybe show me the path OUT of the Dust Storm. Without any stupid platitudes. Especially that one about small stuff.

And hey, ya got a mop? Cause this Happy Place sure could use a good de-gooping.

Product Review

Hershey's Special Dark Raspberry Flavored Kisses


Yuck.



Although, for a product review, I suppose I should post more than that, hey?
Okay...

The first thing that hit me when I opened the bag was the overwhelming chemical smell of fake-raspberry. I tried to eat one of the Kisses, and I didn't taste so much chocolate or raspberry so much as BLEAGH. Again, the chemical taste of the artificial "raspberry" flavor that was added just overwhelmed the chocolate flavor. And, since it was "Special Dark", that is a powerful lot of overwhelming going on.

Very chemical-y taste all through it, and a nasty, bitter aftertaste.
Or, in sum:

Yuck.

Helping Out?

One thing, though, that I know we can all do to help - personal contact. It's not really that much - a phone call, an email, a letter, a package. Tell your friend, your relative, your loved one that you still miss them, you're still waiting for them, you'll still be here for them when they come back home. They need to know that, need to hear that more than ever. It's difficult when you're "over here", especially when you're the HomeFront Spouse, trying to keep a life going that formerly took two of you to make it work...but even five minutes here and there makes a difference. It lets them know that hey, they haven't been forgotten, that you do still love them, that you are still waiting for them.

I know how hard it is to tell my husband the little things about my day. Our phone conversations generally go something like, "yeah, my day was OK. Busy. Yours?" "yeah, about the same." "Well...um...love you. See you in a couple days." "Yup, love you too. See ya." How hard would it be to tell him "Hey, I had a meeting today and this happened and then I saw a hawk on the way home, and the dog slobbered on my feet again today." Just as easy, right? And it makes it more "homey", more personal.
So why don't I do it? I don't know. Sometimes I just don't think of it. Sometimes I'm just so damn lonely for him that I can't think of anything beyond "I want to be with you and I want it NOW."
Maybe I'm afraid he'll get bored and tell me that I said the same thing yesterday. Maybe I'm hoping i can be brilliant and wonderful, to impress him, to make sure I'm still going to be someone he wants to have come home, and when that doesn't happen, I don't want to admit that Mrs. Brilliant And Wonderful is really just covered in dog slobber.
I dunno.

I do know that I'm gonna do the best I can to make sure that the people I know who are overseas get to hear about their families as often as I can tell them something - even if it's just about homework. Even if it's nothing more than, "Hey, your stupid dog slobbered on your kids last night..."
Because there's something right with the world if the worst I can report is All About Dog Slobber.

I realized last night that I'm getting just a teeny little taste of what the people deployed to Iraq have to be feeling. For some reason, last night it really hit me that if Kev needs me to be home, for anything at all, for any reason...there's not a dang thing I can do about it. Not one. Emergency? Sorry, it'll be at least 3 hours before I can be there. Just want me there? Well, see ya in a few days.
I can't imagine what it must be like to know that hey, if there's an emergency...sorry, can't help. Need me to be home to help out with something? Ask someone else. Just want me there? Hope you'll still want me in 6 or 7 months, because that's when I can be there.

Just mind-blowing. I can't imagine that at all - and when I try, it's incredibly depressing.

To everyone who is making that sacrifice, both here and overseas....thank you. To you and your families, who are putting up with that separation for our country and others...there are no words. Nothing I can say that expresses my deep and abiding gratitude for you. Thank you. Thank you so much. There's not enough I can say; not enough I can do to express it...but I will try.
Every little bit I do to say thanks is loaded with so much thanks that I just have no idea how to express it all.

If I had the money, I'd buy you all breakfast. Since I don't, I'll continue to try to express it the only ways I can - by helping out and supporting the ones I know in the small, insignificant ways I do...and continue to look for more.

Thanks.