I had a thought over the weekend - when does "waiting upon the Lord" become actually "copping out so I don't have to make decisions"? Seriously, it'd be so easy to just sit and say, "well, God will tell me what He wants me to do, so I'm gonna sit back and just keeeep floating along until He tells me what He wants me to do with my life." Easy - no decisions, no responsibility for those decisions if they go wrong, because it's all God's Plan, you see?
But...I wonder at what point "waiting for God's Plan" becomes "so I don't have to do anything." How can you tell?
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I've been thinking about this for a while....
ReplyDeleteVocations are sometimes confusing things. God gives us several. You would have the vocation of Believer, wife, worker, citizen, friend.
Some of these vocations are more important than others, Christian being the most, of course, but you are able to fulfill all of your vocations under that, most of the time. Wife probably comes next. Because of your family situation, your role of wife is also tied to your role as worker, since you provide your family's income. But it does help in prioritizing things, sometimes.
Sometimes, God doesn't announce through the winning of the lottery or through lightening, or through the headhunter calling to offer you the ideal job. Sometimes, it is simply how different tasks outside of our vocations, or other vocations effect our primary ones.
I know this is a strain on you. But maybe God is telling you through how much of a strain it is on you, or on your husband. Maybe God is telling you through your health concerns and your well-being. You can be a worker through many different jobs. Are you able, through this situation, to meet the needs of your marriage, your health (which is even more important since you are the one who can bring home the paycheck) or are there better options? I don't know how hard you are looking for other options, or if your employer, if called upon to see how much of a strain this is on you, would consider hiring you so you could safely move, or what other things can be taken...or maybe the lack of choices right now is His answer.
Sometimes we look for something to be so clear (and sometimes God does work that way) when really the answer is truly in "how is it going?" "Is this the best way I can serve God and others?"
God is truly providing for your needs through your current situation, but He has given us our reason, and sometimes, He allows us to use it, without our being able to see how He is guiding it, but having faith that either way, He will bless it and provide for our needs through it.
I pray for you guys often. I hope that some way to ease your burdens and make your lives simpler happens soon. But God bless you for your ability to keep plugging along. It is so hard to be separated from the one that you are one with.
I don't think I could do it without at least three times the amount of complaining...and a lot more tears, cussing, and maybe even throwing a few things occasionally.