A Christmas Song for you

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Straight No Chaser - 12 Days of Christmas, 2008

It's that time of year again! Time to post the latest Straight No Chaser 12 Days of Christmas video!

For all you Cat servants out there...

Cat Food Recall:
Diamond Pet Foods has issued a voluntary recall for Premium Edge Finicky Adult Cat and Premium Edge Hairball Cat because they have the potential to produce thiamine deficiency.

Read the rest here.

Mornings.

Funny Blog Find

I was looking for the Rubber Ducky Nativity when I stumbled across this blog: Going Jesus: The Cavalcade of Bad Nativities. It's along the lines of the Bad Vestments Blog - they post a pic of the bad nativity and make a snarky comment or two. Check it out.

Wow. Job Review and Updated News

Well.
First, my Job Review. I love my new job. It's very busy, and very intense, but they parked me in front of a computer, essentially said, "here's the software. Break it and tell us how you did it" and let me go to it.
This. Is. GREAT. I can break things and find out how they work and WHY they work that way, and I don't have to fix it. It's a great place to work, too - the people are very friendly, the dress code is...incredibly lax ("please wear clothes.") ... I've been calling it "California Casual".
Footwear optional.

And I just got the news that the Awful Office ( a/k/a "the previous job") came in and announced that they were shutting down the project and they gave everyone 2 weeks' notice - TODAY.

:: blink ::
:: blinkblink ::

Okay, God, I might not be always thrilled with Your timing, or HOW you do things, but...thanks.

Thanks for keeping me at least marginally sane through all that crap. Thanks for the way things worked out. Thanks for my AWESOMELY COOL NEW JOB.
And thanks that I didn't have to freak out about "ZOMG what am I going to do now".

Announcement

I.
GOT.
THE.
JOB!!!!!!!!

Coolest. Demo. EVER.

Bobby McFerrin on the Pentatonic Scale in your brain.

World Science Festival 2009: Bobby McFerrin Demonstrates the Power of the Pentatonic Scale from World Science Festival on Vimeo.

An article on Introverts.

Totally. Agree.

http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200303/rauch

Yyyyyup, that's about it.

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Futility

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William Shatner

Thought this was appropriate too.

Happy Canada Day

Ran across this one while I was searching for "o canada heavy metal". While it's not quite what I was looking for, there is in fact a lot of heavy metal in the video, and I believe it's far more appropriate for today than what I originally searched for.



Thank you.

Seems appropriate today

For Cynthia

IF COMPUTERS WERE WORLDS...

Apple's would be vaguely roundish with a bite taken out, and would be called "iPlanet". Lots of people would say they wanted to live there, because it was so pretty and there was no crime or violence, but very few people would actually do so, hence the lack of crime and violence. The majority of people who say they wanted to live there cite the high prices of real estate, high landing fees, and generally complain that iPlanet is far too expensive for the average person.

LINUX would be shaped essentially like a pear, with slight protuberances on the sides. Laws would change any time a citizen submitted a suggestion. The name would occasionally change, too, and different areas of the planet would disagree as to which name was best.
The planet would be generally self-governing, freewheeling, and have a fairly low population.
It would be free to land here, and in fact free to live here, but each person has to support themselves. In fact, they customize and terraform the land to suit their needs...or sometimes, just their whims. Eventually, they'll probably change it to something else altogether. Maybe paint it chartreuse.
People not living here mutter vague things about how difficult it is to live there, and how they'd be too afraid to do so.

MICROSOFT would be densely populated, have the highest rate of crime of any of the three planets, and would advertise that it was open to everyone. However, to land on the planet, you'd have to buy a docking interface that only Microsoft supplies, and you'd have to present paperwork proving that it wasn't a copy.
First-time visitors to the planet are struck by how green and lovely things are, but residents have long since discovered that at least some of the green is painted on.
The planet routinely suffers from violent earthquakes. The government calls this "planet rebooting" and insist that the planet will not function properly without the quakes.
Immigrating to, and living on, planet Microsoft is easy, and the government is working to make things easier for you all the time. Long-time residents will complain about this constantly, saying how much BETTER Microsoft Planet XP was. Well, after the Government issued a couple updates so that they would stop getting randomly burgled and made ill. So I guess it was really Planet XP, Service Pack 2 that was the better Planet. These in turn will be mocked by the even LONGER term residents, who say that nothing beats Planet 3.0.
Then there's the people in charge of City Planning and Infrastructure, who insist that no, really, Planet NT was superior.
Everyone agrees, however, that Planet 98 and Planet ME were just BIG mistakes, as they eagerly await the next Planetary Makeover.
Nobody is quite sure what to make of Planet Vista, although rumor has it that Planet 7 is coming out soon, and it should fix all the problems that Planet Vista had.

I'm Proud to be a Hoosier.

Yep, I said it. Our poor state has been the butt of many jokes - for not being asinine enough to follow the crowd and switch our clocks every year, then when our government gave in to peer pressure, for doing the logical thing and allowing each area to have their time zone coincide with the time zone of their largest / most influential economic area.
And, lately, for having a State Treasurer who stands up to the United States Government.
And because of Richard Mourdock, never have I been more proud to claim I'm from the same state.

EVERYONE has heard by now of the upstart State of Indiana and the State Treasurer's foolish, silly, outrageous bid to stop the Chrysler bankruptcy. He was painted as an idiot, a man who would Stop The Progress Of Capitalism And A Free Market Society. If this doesn't go through then Chrysler would go under, and then you won't get anything, you silly silly man.

That's the spin we heard from the media, who got it from the United States Government. And now...The rrrrrrRRRREST Of The Story.

First, a little explanation. There are two types of creditors for companies, just like there are two types of creditors for people. "Secured Creditors" and "Unsecured Creditors". Secured Creditors are exactly what you'd expect - just as with individuals, the Secured Creditors are the ones who are "buying" part of your debt with the understanding that they will get paid first should you declare bankruptcy, and that they'll get close to 100% of your outstanding debt to them. Only after the Secured Creditors are paid does any leftover money go to the "Unsecured Creditors". That's the way it's been for over 150 years. That's the way Bankruptcy works, and that's the way the Bankruptcy laws are written.

The State of Indiana, along with several other small investors, were Secured Creditors for Chrysler. They had purchased BONDS in Chrysler, not stock. These small investors were owed approximately $300 million when Chrysler wanted to declare Bankruptcy. There were also several LARGE banks that were Secured Creditors, to the tune of a few billion dollars. All the rest of Chrysler's Creditors were UNSECURED Investors. This is important.

The federal government stepped in a few months before Chrysler declared bankruptcy. THEY, not Chrysler's Board of Directors, decided that Chrysler would declare Bankruptcy. And when they did it, they organized it so that a Special Interest Group who was an UNSECURED Creditor would get the lion's share of the bankruptcy funds.
SECURED Creditors were being offered a mere 29% of their investment. TWENTY-NINE PERCENT. Think about that. Do you think your MORTGAGE LENDER would accept a mere TWENTY NINE PERCENT of your debt to them because you'd decided you'd rather pay off your parents who'd loaned you money?
Well. The Secured Investors set up a howl about this, because it was flying in the face of 150 years of financial precedent, and bankruptcy laws. Predictably, the loudest objectors were the Large Banks, which had most of the Secured Debt. 29% of a billion dollars is quite a lot of money, but then again, 71% of it is even MORE money, which is what they stood to LOSE. Suddenly, mysteriously, every single one of those Large Banks, who had coincidentally received Government Buyoff ... ahem ... BAILOUT Funds earlier, went quiet and dropped their lawsuits. It was left to the Smaller Creditors, the ones who had invested $300 million - the Hedge Funds, the Retirement Funds, and the local funds - to stand up and say "NO, this is WRONG."
So, they did.
And again, one by one, they mysteriously dropped their lawsuits. Mourdock says they were threatened - some with death threats - and that it's documented. However it happened, pretty soon the only one left was...Richard Mourdock. Who steadfastly refused to give up. He pressed the lawsuit on behalf of the State of Indiana, on behalf of the Indiana Teachers' Union, on behalf of the Firefighters' Retirement Funds, and incidentally, on behalf of all the people who had dropped their suits. We know what happened after that - the Governmental Spin Doctors went to work and painted Mourdock as a fool.

He lost his case, but he hasn't given up. He's still giving interviews about this issue, because it's an important one. Your government is overturning decades, and sometimes centuries of laws for their own convenience, to satisfy THEIR ideas, to forward THEIR political agenda. They're not serving the people and upholding the laws anymore.

Oh yes, and the entity that got the lion's share of Chrysler's Bankruptcy money? The UNSECURED Creditor that the United States Government decided should be paid off first? Why, it was the UAW.

You can read a May 31 interview with Mourdock here.

Here's an interview with him. The interview starts at about 2:10

(If that video doesn't show up, you can see it here.
Thanks, Mr. Mourdock. Even though you lost your case, THANK YOU for standing tall in the face of threats. THANK YOU for standing up for our country and our laws.

My Little Pony - Apocalypse Pony

This is just so wrong. Ron, here ya go - Apocalypse Ponies!

The NOM NOM NOM song!

As soon as I saw this, I thought, "dang...this is irritating as heck. I need to post it on my blog and expand its irritation radius!"

So here it is.

Monday Face

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Weekly Webness Video - Cows With Guns

Mysterious manuscript?

You know...it is obvious, isn't it...

Darth Vader like you've never seen him before

This is way too weird to be believed, so of course I had to post it.
It's entirely family-friendly and safe for work and stuff.

Despair.com t-shirts

I thought this new Despair.com t-shirt was highly appropriate regarding the government's takeover...ahem...buyout....um....whatever of GM earlier this week.

Ronald Reagan on What's My Line

Instead of the normal "Weekly Webness" this week, I'm just posting a video I ran across and thought was interesting.

For those of us that only remember him as "Mr. President", here's an interesting clip of Ronald Reagan back when he was in pictures.

You can definitely see the "Reagan" features, but dang - he was pretty good-looking.

Thoughts on Job Seeking

Dear people who are seeking new jobs,

Please, for the love of all that is good and green, PROOFREAD your postings first.  If you're posting your availability as a TECHNICAL WRITER, for the cat's sake don't post that you're a "TECNIAL WRITER WITH 5+ YEARS EXPERENCE."  Nobody will hire you, trust me on this.

Similarly, don't post that you're looking for a "carrier opportunity" unless you're a long-distance trucker or a pigeon.  And somehow I don't think pigeons have over ten years experience in Software Development.

Also: Archive is not spelled with 2 "e"s.  It's A-R-C-H-I-V-E, not "ARCHIEVE".  Goodness, people.  PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT YOU'RE WRITING!

The Evil Overlord List

The Top 100 Things I'd Do

If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.
   
2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
   
3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
   
4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
   
5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.
   
6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.
   
7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."
   
8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
   
9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.
   
10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.
    
11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.
    
12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
    
13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.
    
14. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.
    
15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.
    
16. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."
    
17. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.
    
18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.
    
19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.
    
20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.
    
21. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.
    
22. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.
    
23. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.
    
24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)
    
25. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.
    
26. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.
    
27. I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.
    
28. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.
    
29. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.
    
30. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.
    
31. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.
    
32. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.
    
33. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.
    
34. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.
    
35. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.
    
36. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.
    
37. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.
    
38. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.
    
39. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.
    
40. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.
    
41. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.
    
42. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.
    
43. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.
    
44. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.
    
45. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.
    
46. If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor.
    
47. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.
    
48. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.
    
49. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.
    
50. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.
    
51. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.
    
52. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.
    
53. If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her.
    
54. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.
    
55. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.
    
56. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.
    
57. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.
    
58. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.
    
59. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.
    
60. My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.
    
61. If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.
    
62. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.
    
63. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.
    
64. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.
    
65. If I must have computer systems with publically available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.
    
66. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.
    
67. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.
    
68. I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.
    
69. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.
    
70. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.
    
71. If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.
    
72. If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them.
    
73. I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win.
    
74. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.
    
75. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.
    
76. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)
    
77. If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutentant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.
    
78. I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."
    
79. If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.
    
80. If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.
    
81. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.
    
82. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.
    
83. If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.
    
84. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.
    
85. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."
    
86. I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.
    
87. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.
    
88. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.
    
89. After I captures the hero's superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.
    
90. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.
    
91. I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.
    
92. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)
    
93. If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.
    
94. When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.
    
95. My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.
    
96. My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.
    
97. My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.
    
98. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.
    
99. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.
    
100. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.
     

(The Evil Overlord list, along with explanations, origin story, and appendices featuring MORE things Evil Overlords should do (or should NEVER do), can be found here.)

Copyright notice from that page:

This Evil Overlord List is Copyright 1996-1997 by Peter Anspach. If you enjoy it, feel free to pass it along or post it anywhere, provided that (1) it is not altered in any way, and (2) this copyright notice is attached.

Weekly Webness - National Map Viewer

This is an online map that has many layers of information. You can get geological, geographical, topographical, tectonic, and dozens of other kinds of information just by selecting various layers to show.

Check it out!

National Map Viewer

Yup, it's official.

I hate my new assignment. Imagine if you will being taken from a cubicle and being put into an area that's approximately the size of 4 regular cubes big.
Now stick desks in there, one right next to another.
Each "desk" space is large enough to hold a computer, a monitor, a keyboard & mouse, and maybe, if you're lucky, a pad of paper.

Populate this area with 11 people. You're #12.
Every single thing you do is noticed, and likely commented on. Go to the restroom? Someone comments on it. Need a drink? Someone notices. Go to lunch? Hey, wait up and we'll ALL go. Check your email? Gee, that's a really pretty background you have set for your Gmail. Itchy nose? Someone asks you if you're going to sneeze, for crying out loud.

I don't like people that much. I especially don't like them enough to be surrounded by chattering, noticing people for 8-10 hours every single flipping day.

God, I swear, whatever You want from me that will GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE, I will do. If your grand plan is entitled "Kim's Having a Nervous Breakdown", then I'm right on track for it, but if it's that SOMETHING BETTER THAN I EVER IMAGINED that I keep getting told about, then you better hurry up and make that SOMETHING BETTER happen before something BAD happens.

I'm pretty sure that it's really bad when I start fantasizing about getting a serious case of H1N1 because "well, at least THEN I wouldn't have to go into That Place for a while." Please God...it's not that I'm ungrateful to have a job...it's just that I don't know how much more of this one I can take anymore. And "God's got a plan, just you wait" is starting to sound a lot more like random noise than anything meaningful to me.

God, I don't want to be a bad witness to people. I want to show Your love, and how great it is that we have Hope because of Your Son. But God...I keep getting more and more miserable, and I'm having a harder and harder time finding Hope. Please God...at least give me that. Hope and Peace in You.

And Satan, if you're the one behind all this, I say this with all sincerity:
SCREW YOU. GO BACK TO HELL. STAY THERE. YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE OF THE FIRST WATER, AND YOU CAN JUST GO BACK TO YOUR HELLHOLE AND STAY THERE FOREVER. I AM NOT ABANDONING MY FAITH BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPID MACHINATIONS, SO JUST PISS OFF.

Weekly Webness - Jim Butcher online

In my opinion, Jim Butcher is one of the best writers in existence today. He writes excellent stories, with a good overarching "story arc" - while still providing entertaining "resolved in one book" stories. His books are filled with action, adventure, and heavily leavened with humor.

His Dresden Files series features Harry Dresden, a PI and practicing Wizard who lives in Chicago. He works as a consultant for the Chicago PD, and also takes on projects of his own.

The Codex Alera series features a different world altogether: Swords and Sorcery (or, as Jim himself apparently put it: "Roman Legions meets Pokemon".) The story revolves around Tavi, a boy without any Elementals (called "furies") at his command, in a world where everyone can command at least one Elemental. Horses, bad guys, external threats and giant talking magic-wielding wolves all help to make this series a fabulous ride.

Jim Butcher has an online presence at http://www.jim-butcher.com/
There you can read more about his books, check out a calendar of events, listen to his podcast, or join the discussion forums.

Weekly Webness - The Straight Dope

Oh sure, ask.com and Google can give you answers to your normal questions, such as "how long did the Hundred Years War last" (116 years, from 1337 to 1453) and "why did anyone fight over roses, anyway?" (they didn't; the Roses in question were the badges associated with the royal houses of Lancaster and York). But where do you turn when you want to find out answers to questions such as What is "American Pie" really about? and "Was Captain Bligh really the jerk he was made out to be?"? Where can one go for answers to these burning questions?

You go to Cecil Adams for the Straight Dope, of course! Acerbic, witty, intelligent and always entertaining, Cecil answers questions you never even thought existed (and some that you think, "WHY would anyone want to know that????")

Komets Win!

Congratulations to the Komets! Back To Back Turner Cup CHAMPIONS!!!

How NOT to be creative

Well, yeah, I'll give 'em that much. I bet Mom won't ever forget THIS Mother's Day Cake.
From the Cake Wrecks Blog:

Descartes' Monday

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Weekly Webness - Thunderbird

Last weeks' Webness brought you Firefox. Now here's the email client from Mozilla - Thunderbird. It's easy to install, the connection wizards walk you through setting it up to download your mail from the server - even if you have webmail, such as Gmail or Yahoo! All your mail is saved locally so you can access past emails without having to connect to the internet.
It has a "look and feel" similar to the common email client programs, such as Outlook, so it's easy to understand and easy to use.

Go here to download and give it a try!

Weekly Webness - Firefox ADDONS

Last week's Webness linked you to Firefox. Now I'll recommend the customizations, if you haven't tried them out already.
Their Addons page offers hundreds of additional features, from Greasemonkey (a script processor, so you can add little "scripts" to customize the way Firefox displays data) to customizations of Firefox, to ad-blockers.

I highly recommend at least adding Ad-block Plus (don't forget to select a "list" when you're prompted to when you install this one.) It'll block popup ads and banner ads on websites for you as you're browsing. Neat, huh?

You can also add Themes (changes the look of Firefox and the buttons) and make your browser look the way you want it to. Check it out!

Coyote vs...911?

*snicker*

Weekly Webness - Firefox

Want a new browser? Want to customize your "browsing experience"? The Firefox browser from Mozilla has loads of options - some included, such as Tabbed Browsing, and pages and pages and pages of add-ons. Check it out. You'll be glad you did.

Weekly Webness - ROFLRazzi

And the last of the "LOLpics" sites, still owned by the nice folks at "I can has cheezburger": ROFLRazzi.

This site uses pictures of celebs and well-known figures (sometimes fictional, sometimes cartoon, but usually at least recognizable) and gives them "LOL captions". Some are humorous, some are pointed, and some can be just flat-out mean.
Usually they're funny, if you're bent that way, but occasionally...not.

Monday.

He Is Risen! He Is Risen INDEED! Alleluia!

A little Easter humor that a friend posted on her blog...thought I'd pass it along.

Weekly Webness - I has a hotdog!

And for this week, introducing the dog version of Captioned Animal Pictures: I Has A Hotdog. Cute dogs with cute captions...and sometimes, slightly menacing ones:


see more puppies

Fun game

Test your typing and word construction skills with Deep Leap. Type in words using the tiles on the screen. As you make words, you get points. If you don't type enough words in, tiles will start to get "crowded out" by new incoming tiles, and you lose points, so watch out!

Monday.

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

April Fools from Google!

Google's April Fools' Prank this year: Gmail Autopilot. It purports to be able to read and respond to your incoming emails just as you'd respond, using some variation of ELIZA.

They've also linked up another page: CADIE. Very well done, Google.

Gadzooks, they even gave CADIE a homepage and a Youtube channel.

Weekly Webness - I Can Haz Cheezburger?

If you like pictures of cute cats doing strange things, and you like captions on those pictures, check out I Can Has Cheezburger. Appalling grammar and spelling, but you can usually figure out what they're saying. And sometimes, they have incredibly clever ones...like this:


more animals

Extreme Sheepherding!

You know what, I don't even care if this video isn't true.
Way, way, WAY cool.
This stuff took a LOT of planning.

What Breed of Dog Are YOU?

I'm an Australian Shepherd!

You Scored as Australian Shepherd You're an Australian Shepherd, or an Aussie. You are very loyal, but if you have nothing to do you are not very happy. Keep busy! Australian Shepherd 80% Golden Retriever 55% Bernese Mountain Dog 45% Staffordshire Bull Terrier 30% Westie 25%

Give Thanks In Everything

Okay, so Pastor in his sermon yesterday pointed out that we should give thanks for all things. He's been actually working on that theme for a while, but yesterday's was fairly memorable because it had a "wait...what?" attached to it.

He said that we should think of something we really really hate doing, even though it's for someone we love. Okay, got that.
Now, give thanks that we can do that thing, whatever it is. Um. O....kay....
And now, next time we do it, give thanks at the time we're doing it that we can do that task, whatever it may be.

Wait. What?

Yeah. What, you thought that Christ only gave thanks for the easy stuff? "Hey Father, thanks for the fish and stuff, make more. Thanks muchly." No, of course not. Christ gave thanks to the Father for everything.
And you know, his life wasn't all that easy either. But he did it because he loves us. So...

So okay. Driving to work this morning.

Hey, God, Pastor said to so I'm going to. I mean, we've had conversations about this before, so you're already real familiar with my opinion about this whole situation. So...um....thanks. Thanks that I can do this for my family. Thanks that I have the sheer ability to do all that's necessary to provide for my family. Thanks that I have all the skills necessary, and the physical capability to drive to Indy every week. And...thanks that I have a job, even though it might not be where I want it.

There, that wasn't so hard, was it?

Actually...yeah, it was. It was pretty freaking hard. But...I did it, and I'm going to try to do it tomorrow.

Thanks, God, that I'm in Indy right now at my job. And please help me to really mean it.

Top 10 Goalies Gone Wild

Just ran across this on Wil Wheaton's blog.


Fun fun fun...

Weekly Webness - Kim Komando's Website

This is a really cool website. Komando.com is the site for Kim Komando's radio show. She's got lots of information: Show picks is a link to her "links" sites where you can get information on free computer stuff, places to work from home, privacy tips, and lots more.
Her Tip of The Day and Cool Site of The Day are just that, and they're REALLY handy. You can also sign up for her newsletters, read her column and lots more.
Check it out!

http://komando.com/

Lest We Forget

I don't care if this ad was done by a beer company. YES, dangit. YES.



We must not forget to say thank you.

Weekly Webness - Despair.com

Demotivators! Getcher Demotivators right here!

Despair.com is the perfect antidote for those "motivational" posters that you see up on the wall at work. You know, the ones that everyone likes to mock, because they're so trite.
They even take the time to mock them:



My personal favorite is this one.

Weekly Webness - a different way to search

This week I direct your attention to a different way to search the web:

Goodsearch. You can raise money for your selected charity just by searching the web! Go to Goodsearch.com, locate your charity in the pulldown menu, then run your search. Your charity collects money for every search you run.

And hey, if you don't have any particular charity to donate to, please consider Love INC - Manistee County (Manistee, MI). They do a lot of good work helping out anyone who needs it.

Weekly Webness - Online Dictionary

This online dictionary is GREAT: it's fast, it's reliable and it's free!

http://definr.com/

Type in a word, and ZING, you got your definition. I've bookmarked it, because it's way faster than my former reference site.

Amazing Grace

Nice video for your enjoyment.

Bring the troops home! No, wait...what?

Remember Obama's campaign promises to "pull the US Military out of Iraq"? I know that many people were hailing him as the wonderful, magnificent guy who would Get Us Out Of War, and Get Us Out Of The Middle East, and Bring The Troops Home.

...

YEAH, RIGHT.

Obviously those people didn't think about the fact that Iraq does NOT equal the Middle East...even though the rest of us were thinking "um, hey, world's a big place, so's the Middle East...he's just gonna move 'em around."

Guess who was right?
Obama's planning on "pulling out of Iraq" and send more troops to Afghanistan instead. Here's the first round...and there's more to follow.
HOW does this man have a high approval rating? Seriously? I weep for our country.

Weekly Webness - the Uncyclopedia

Everyone's seen online encyclopedias. Heck, one of the most popular sites out there is Wikipedia - a user-editable online encyclopedia.

Now, thanks to someone's delicious sense of humor (actually, a LOT of someones), we have the UNcyclopedia. Sort of an...anti-Wikipedia, if you like.
It's also user-editable, but...well, check it out.

Their page on Shiny Things is a fun place to start.

Synodical Nonsense

The Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod is currently in dire financial straits. They are removing missionaries from the mission field due to lack of funding...and yet, the Synod has decided that it's absolutely necessary to spend thousands of dollars on a frivolous lawsuit trying to "protect" a trademark that they abandoned in 1999.

In reality, what they're doing is trying to restrict Issues, Etc. from saying anything that's not Sanitized By Synod.
Please, anyone who's reading this and is a member of the LC-MS, go here http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/trademark/ and let the Synod know what you REALLY Think of this.

Heroes

see more puppies

An interesting take on the gun-control issues

Randy Cassingham of "This Is True" has a blog, where he posts comments, long essays, and so on related to his "This Is True" feature. I thought this weeks' was especially interesting, since he elaborates on the gun-control issue.
He gives a good (if brief) history of guns in the United States, explains WHY we think the way we do about guns, and what the Constitutionalists (and the Supreme Court) have ruled regarding the Second Amendment to the Constitution. He also gives a few thoughts on "guns in church" and WHY the NRA won't accept gun restrictions. He uses the smoking bans as an excellent parallel to the "slippery slope" of gun-control.

Check it out; it's definitely worth the read.

Weekly Webness - iGoogle

Have you tried iGoogle yet? You create a username (or login with your Gmail username) and you can customize your Google page! Themes, plugins, widgets, and even an RSS feed reader is available to you. Check it out - and check out the cute puppy themes.

Happy whatever day!

As seen on the Straight Dope Message Board

"If your place of worship could serve as a zeppelin hangar and has smoke machines, light shows, soft rock music, a coffee bar, a jumbotron with satellite uplink, and a noticeable lack of theology, then you are engaged not in worship, but in a suburban horseshit social club/fashion show. Here's a nickel. Go find a real church."

Amen, brother. A-freaking-men.

Weekly Webness - Cranky Customer

The flip side of the Customer Service coin should be told, too: Cranky Customer. Check out some of the tales of BAD customer service.

You can subscribe by email here, as well - or by RSS feed.

Mythbusters - blowing crap up

Love this video. Unfortunately I don't get the code to embed it so you'll have to follow the linky.

Linky.

Weekly Webness - Not Always Right

Fed up with stupidity? Ever worked in Customer Service? Want some funny stories? Then Not Always Right is the site for you. They feature stories of people in Customer Service demonstrating that the customer is NOT, in fact, always right.

Added bonus: if you like the site, you can get the stories emailed to you!

In The News

In the news today, they discussed the Obama Spending Bill. Apparently, the Senate has given up de-porking the one that came to them from the House, and is now going to vote on one THEY came up with instead, that didn't have Obama pushing it.
Obama has made a statement saying that he's not averse to pruning out the unneeded stuff in the bill, but that his "stimulus package" must be approved soon because after all, his priorities are to quickly get tax relief for the middle class and job creation out there to us, the poor American Sheep.
Scuse me, Mr. Obama, which part of your stimulus package is about "tax relief for the middle class" or "job creation"? Is it the National Endowment for the Arts rider? The global warming research? Carbon-capture demonstration projects? No, it's not about tax relief, job creation or even "economic stimulus" to the American public. It's about railroading a bunch of pet projects through with the TITLE of "economic stimulus" and hoping that the Congress will be so afraid to look bad by not passing a bill labeled "Economic Stimulus" that they'll agree to anything. But, as one Congressman said, "The American People are figuring out what this bill is. It's not a Stimulus Package - it's a Spending Package."
Yes...yes we are.

Also in the news, they're also voting to delay the digital-TV rollout another 4 months. Evidently some people aren't prepared yet, so Congress wishes to give them 4 more months to prepare for it. Because, y'know, the MEDIA BLITZ of "get your digital converter or get cable or a dish by FEBRUARY OF 2009" for the past year and more wasn't enough. Apparently if they have been ignoring the warnings, news reports, and heck text scroll and crawlers plastered all over their favorite shows EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. for the past year, giving them four more months to ignore the crawlers will make a huge difference, they will see the Error Of Their Ways and purchase a converter box.
Two thoughts on this:
1) Television is not a RIGHT. Get over it. If you can't watch your precious precious Oprah and Maury after the switch, then go buy a damn converter. Missed out on the coupons? Tough weasels - you had over a YEAR to apply for one of those, too. Sucks to be you. Listen to the radio. I'm sure Bob and Tom will fill all your intellectual needs.
2) The people who are not prepared by now, absolutely won't get the message in another 4 months. Some people simply won't bother until they are forced to by circumstance. Why screw up the people who are counting on those extra frequencies to be available in two weeks just for the sake of people who have been willfully ignoring the warnings, news stories, crawlers, etc. for the past year? The extra 4 months won't make a difference to them - they'll continue on, fat and happy, until their analog signal goes away. And then they'll either do something about it or learn to live without.

Relationship Bank

I was just reminded of this, and since it was so helpful I thought I'd post it so I didn't lose track of it again.

Kev once told me about a concept he'd run across called the "Relationship Bank" (or Emotions Bank, whatever). The counselor likened interpersonal relationships to banks:
Every positive interaction / emotion with someone meant they made a "deposit" of Good Feelings in their "Relationship Account" with you.
Every negative interaction / emotion with someone meant they made a "withdrawal" from their "Relationship Account".
Obviously, we need to keep our accounts in the POSITIVE with other people we want to get along with.

Granted, it's rather a simplistic -- and slightly mercenary way -- to look at relationships on the surface, but I think it's actually a solid and valid way to evaluate your relationships with people.
Have I been "depositing" or "withdrawing" lately from my friends? If I'm "withdrawing", have I "deposited" enough prior to this that I have a healthy balance to draw on? If not, maybe we're not as close as I thought, and I should be more careful about my "withdrawals" from them.
And that other person over there, who's doing nothing but "withdrawals" from me - do I know them well enough to allow this? Do they have enough "on balance" to do that, or are they taking advantage of my good nature? (Okay, stop laughing now, it's a hypothetical question, not one I'm asking myself. I said STOP LAUGHING.)

It's interesting how many "friends" really turn out to be nothing of the sort when evaluated this way - especially those made over the Internet. How much do you know about these people, anyway - these faceless, pseudonymous people who type at the world in general on their computer?

So Much for "No More Special Interests"

yeah, those promises that Mr. Obama made while he was campaigning, about not allowing special interests and lobbyists to write bills and get special treatment...

Well, we see that Mr. Obama can't even keep a promise for what, 2 weeks? Check out the latest spending bill. I can't call it a "stimulus package", because it's not stimulating the economy of the country - even though that's what its proponents are calling it. Stimulating the economy of the special interests that are getting our tax money - and our CHILDREN'S tax money thrown at them? Oh heck yes.

Beethoven's Fifth - New Horizons In Music Appreciation

For your listening enjoyment...the music of P. D. Q. Bach.

The Cat Came Back

Just remembered this one...

I found all the global warming!

I just found out that Melbourne, Australia is having problems with extreme temperatures. Their railroad service had to shut down the other day due to failed air conditioning and buckled tracks. Yup, the tracks are buckling due to the extreme heat. Apparently they're in a heatwave that's posting overnight temperatures of around 100 degrees Fahrenheit!

So that's where all our global warming is - The Australians are hoarding it all.

Mister Gore, please call Australia and make the Aussies give us some of their global warming!

Sign the petition - save the unborn

I don't know if signing this will do any good or not, but I have to try.
Please, go out and sign the petition AGAINST the "Freedom of Choice Act".

Ford Focus Floats on Flakes

I was much grieved when Ford stopped making the Escort. My Escort was a little mountain goat in the snow - handled pretty much everything a bigger car could with very little problem. However, I have come to discover that the Ford Focus actually does very well in the snow, too - although not so much on ice. More on that later.

First: we got POUNDED last night with snow. The news people were saying "biggest snowfall in a 24-hour period in at least 4 years, and maybe since 1979". That's a lotta snow.
My car was parked along the side of the road, so it sorta got "plowed in". Sorta. Mostly the plows cleared one lane, so I actually didn't have that much EXTRA snow to deal with. Good thing. Rocking the car back & forth finally got it out of my parking spot, and off I went. The car seems to pretty much float on the snow, and once it gets going, it stays going. I was traveling faster than some trucks were, with NO problem!

Sure, I only went about 40 mph the whole way to work, but hey, lots of people were going way, way, waaaaay slower. If there's no traction to be had, however, I have to slow WAY down because the car starts to slide out almost immediately.
All in all, pretty happy with the way my Floating Ford Focus handled last night & this morning.

Weekly Webness - TV Tropes

Weekly Webness: TV Tropes!
It's a self-described "wiki of a catalog of the tricks of the trade for writing fiction."

You can see every cliche, every common theme, every "trick" you've ever seen in TV, Anime, Literature - if it's in a fictional work, chances are it's on this website somewhere, fully described with several examples.

Be warned - it is a wiki site, with many, many links to other pages on the site, so you can get lost for days in there.

Weekly Webness - Wikipedia

Webness of The Week: Wikipedia. It's a handy site for general reference, quick look-ups of information, and trivia.

You can look things up by genre, by name, by date, and in several languages.

Not a great site for hard reference, since it's a universally-editable site (meaning anyone with a free "wiki account" can edit any page), and the editors don't always have the best of intentions -- or even "telling the truth" -- in mind, but it is a handy site for quick reference material.

Getting Attention

I seem to be garnering more and more attention with my cool rad new legwarmer. My boss saw it on Thursday of last week and asked what it was. When I explained about the metal plate in my leg getting really cold in this weather, and that a friend from church made it for me when she found out, my boss said, "wow, what a great friend! And what a COOL legwarmer!"

There ya go, Cynthia - my boss thinks you're cool, and that the legwarmer is totally rad. So to speak.

An Amusing Letter

Just saw this blog post and had to share. Funny!

COLD! Cold cold cold cold cold...

MAN it's cold out there. Not the cutesy "Baby it's cold outside" kind, either.
No, this is mind-blowing, bone-chilling, "I can't put my arms down!" cold. Are those things crossing the parking lot just people all bundled up in everything they own, or some kind of mutant bear? That kind of cold.

News people: "Stay inside if you can"...which of course I think of as I'm walking the 1/4 mile from my car to the building...yeah, I would if I could, BELIEVE YOU ME...
All's I can say is, I'm glad I had two layers of warm wool around my right leg. Otherwise I'm pretty sure all my blood would've just flat-out FROZEN, because it's so cold I know that hardware would've just shot right to about 20 degrees or so. And then, once the blood came in contact with that FROZEN METAL, it would've all frozen as well.

I can haz spring now? PLEEEEEAAAAAASSSSEE?

Weekly Webness - TwoLumps

This week I'm going to the comics page: Two Lumps, the adventures of Ebenezer and Snooch. Eben and Snooch are 2 cats that talk, surf the net, watch TV, and generally do cat things. And they're funny.

Weekly Webness - Glycemic Index Online

Want to make a change in your diet? Want to know how much those carbohydrates you're going to have will affect your body? Check out the Glycemic Index Online. You can get information about the Glycemic Index: What it is, how it's calculated, and do an online search for the GI rating of any food.

It's obviously geared toward people who need to watch their Glycemic Intake, such as Diabetics, but it's handy information for everyone.

Harrison for President?

I was just directed to this guy's website....here's a paper he's written on the future of the LCMS:
He calls it "“It’s Time”
LCMS UNITY AND MISSION -
The Real Problem We Face
and How to Solve It

Interesting. If I'm reading this stuff correctly, I'm all for Harrison.

Um...what?

Okay, this is it. What's wrong with this picture????

This is from a serious website, that's supposedly helping people with choices.

How I Spent My Christmas Vacation

a not-so-brief essay by moi.

First, we'd just gotten a Shiny New Tradition. I'd just unwrapped it and didn't even get a chance to try it out! Our Shiny New Tradition was supposed to be Staying Home And Relaxing on Christmas Day. Only it turned out that our planned traveling day was going to be Stormy Weather, so we left on Christmas for my parents' place.

Good thing we did - the weather was terrible the next day.

We had a great time at Christmas. Seth, Heather and Ray were there as well as my parents and we had a lovely visit with them. Ray and Kai got along GREAT, as usual. :) Kai even let Ray give him a hug and kiss when it was time for them to leave.

Next, we went shopping in Traverse City for mom's New Years' Party! Woohoo! It was very cool - mom and dad took us to Old Mission Peninsula Park (a lovely drive down Old Mission Peninsula) and to the lighthouse at the end. VERY cool there - there's not only a Lighthouse, but a Historic Marker and a World War 1 & 2 monument there.










The next day was New Years' Eve, and so we went to the New Years' Eve service at church. And, thanks to my dad, I got to play the organ!
It's a very old Tracker organ. It was actually installed in the church in 1901, and originally had a hand-pumped bellows. Here's the hardware:


Neat, huh?

But wait, there's more! It's less complex (for the organist) than any other organ I've seen. No endless ranks of stops, no buttons to change stop settings, no double or triple manuals (or more)...
Just eight stops (plus Pedal Coupler - and more on THAT in a minute) and a single manual. And it's got a GREAT sound.

Looky:


Here's a closeup of the Right side stops:



And of the Left side:


See that one that says "Pedal Coupler"? It means it - if you have that activated, and push down a pedal, the corresponding manual key depresses as well! That was disconcerting...


Those aren't really "stops": they're notes for the 3 foot options. "Forte" is the pedal one pushes to get pretty much all the stops to come out. "Piano" is the one to push to make 'em all go back in (except for a few quiet stops). And "Swell" is just what you think - it's the foot rocker pedal for the Swell box to open for more volume.



I found this note a bit amusing in its pointedness. They've tried polite little notes before, but to no avail - sometimes they get over-enthusiastic guest organists that really stomp on the foot pedals and...well...as you can see, it does take its toll on the poor organ hardware!
Sorry for the blur - I was right there taking the pic. Best I could do.
The text is:
Pedal repair work was done in May '08.

It doesn't matter how hard you strike the pedals. The volume doesn't change. The trackers are old and brittle so please be gentle.

Do not wear street shoes when playing this organ.

Here's the pedals:



And check out some of the gorgeous paintwork on the pipes:








My dad rocks. I'm really glad he arranged that opportunity for me. I hadn't realized how much I'd enjoy playing that organ. That was a GREAT organ to play...now I wanna do it again! :D

Then on FRIDAY when we were out getting last-minute supplies for the party, we found this license plate:


*snicker*

It Ain't Been The Same

Every year after Guy Lombardo and the Royal Canadians went off the air on New Years' Eve, my Papa would say the same thing: "It ain't been the same since Guy Lombardo left." Pointing out that, "Papa...Guy Lombardo is dead, he can't exactly be here anymore..." always got the response of, "doesn't matter - it still ain't been the same."

How right he was.

This is for you, Papa.