"Is there anything I can do?"

Obviously nothing makes the pain go away.  But honestly, spending time with friends helps, because it gives a break from the pain and my own thoughts.

The problem is, I have all these people who say "if there's anything I can do, just say so"...but...

From early on, most people are trained that "it's not polite to invite yourself over to someone's house".  Yet, that's what I really need to do...call them and ask, "Hey, do you have some time where I could come over?"  And boy HOWDY does that feel icky.  Especially since most of it is going to be after work...which means I'm inviting myself over for dinner, too.  Man.  Talk about presumptuous and rude.

If there's someone in your life that has lost a loved one, and you don't know what to do to help...please, invite them over.  They won't necessarily call and ask, because see above about "icky" and "it's presumptuous and rude to invite yourself to someone's house", but man do they need people and to get out of the house and visit.  And keep inviting them.  Let them know you're there and that you will be there for them.   Make the invitations for a specific date and time - find something that works for both you and them and make concrete plans.  Seriously, it's hard to overcome that early training and call someone and say "can I come over"...and quite frankly, the person mourning is having to deal with enough as it is without having to deal with that too.

Maybe eventually they'll be able to say "hey, can I come over" without feeling weird about it.